马来族从“右”开始

右手吃饭,右脚入门,右手送礼物,连穿衣裤也从右边起。

资料来源│“Gateway To Malay Culture”、新加坡回回文化协会

马来社群注重礼仪,缺乏礼仪者会被批评为“biadah”(野蛮),一个人的礼仪反映了此人的家教和老师的教诲,因此礼仪不端不但损及个人,也会辱没父母、亲戚和老师。这里列举一些马来族较重视的一些社交礼仪。

1. 如何问安?

回教徒见面一定会互道salam。简短的阿拉伯文问候语是“Assalamu’alaikum’,就是祈祷阿拉赐于平安,而另一方一般会简短回答‘Wa’alaikumussalam”,祈祷阿拉也赐问候者平安。

非回教徒也可以用这一问候语。上门造访回教徒时,如果连说三次salam都无人应门,就应该是没人在家了。

2. 异性不可握手?

问候一般伴随着握手,单用右手或双手均可,握手后手掌触碰自己胸口以示真心诚意。回教徒一般只和同性握手,女性不与异性握手,除非对方是亲属关系,如儿子、父亲、兄弟、丈夫,或是宗教师或身份尊贵的人。

握手的礼仪也讲究长幼有序,例如年纪较轻者或后辈须主动问候。在问候年长者或身份辈分高者,或宗教师时,须低头亲吻对方的手后,才将右手掌触碰自己胸口。

走过长辈面前时,也应低头弯腰,右手下垂,左手放在背上,以示尊敬。

3. 脱鞋才能入屋?

不可穿鞋进入马来家庭,因为回教徒每天都会在家祈祷,必须尽量保持家里干净,而且许多马来家庭也喜欢在家铺设地毯。

4. 祈祷要看方向

回教徒一天祈祷五次,祈祷时的衣服要干净,祈祷时要朝天房方向。天房是一座位于圣城麦加的立方体圣地。以新加坡来说,天房方向是西北方。

当有人在祈祷时,别人不能走过他的面前,所以一般上回教徒选择面向墙壁,以免有人从前面走过。

5. 坐有坐姿

如果需要席地而坐,男性应该盘腿而坐,而不是将腿往前伸展。女性两腿内屈侧坐,最好两腿向右边内屈,藏在裙下,脚掌不可向着他人。通常在聚会上,男女分席而坐。

6. 送礼不可不知

回教徒不能吃猪肉,不可以吃任何会导致脑神经麻醉的食物或饮料,所以送礼给回教徒时,要避开酒精和含有猪肉的食物。

送礼和接受礼物时,须用右手或双手。礼貌上应该等庆典结束后才拆礼物。

7. 手指怎么指?

不可食指向外,指指点点,应该四指握拳,拇指置于拳上,指出方向或物件。打呵欠时,要用右手捂住嘴巴。

8. 是左是右,有规矩

凡事从右开始。比如右脚入门,左脚出门;右手吃饭;穿衣裤从右开始穿等等。时时穿着得体,尤其到清真寺不可露头发、手和腿。

9. 吃与不吃,有讲究

回教徒只吃有清真认证(halal)的食品。如果摊位上只注明No pork, no lard,回教徒还是不能吃的,鸡、羊、牛都须以 halal 方式宰牲才行。回教徒也不能喝酒,通常会避开与饮酒之人同座。

回教徒用餐前需把手洗干净,用餐时用右手抓饭和菜肴,但只用右手指尖,而不是整只手都沾染食物。

马来族很好客,我们受邀聚餐时应礼貌的先拿面前的菜肴,再拿较远的。如果觉得不能再进食了,可以礼貌的谢绝。

受邀出席马来婚礼时,吃完后即可离桌,让出座位给后来的宾客。在没有设定宾客座位的情况下,这会是让主家感激的做法。

10. 时时保持洁净

上完厕所需要用清水净下,就是清洗排泄器官。做礼拜前需洗小净和净下。洗小净主要是指用水清洗脸、手、头和脚。手要洗到两肘处,脚要洗到脚踝关节处。

11. 特别的话,给特别的事

办任何事之前会说“InshaAllah”,就是托靠阿拉。因为谋事在人,成事在天。

如果事情成功,要说“Alhumdulilah”,就是感谢阿拉的恩典。如果事情搞砸了,比如打破玻璃杯等,要说

“Astaghfirulah”,求主原谅。

开斋节是斋月的结束,对回教徒的重要性相当于华人的农历新年。回教徒在开斋节见面时,会说“Maaf zahir dan batin”,互相请求对方原谅和宽恕。

Understanding Malay customs

Translation: Hong Xinyi

Malay culture regards etiquette as a reflection of one’s upbringing. Here are some examples of important customs, from the book Gateway To Malay Culture, as well as Hui Hui Cultural Association of Singapore.

1 Muslims greet one another with the Arabic phrase “Assalamu‘alaikum”, which means “peace be upon you”. In response to this greeting, one says “Wa’alaikumussalam”, which wishes peace upon the greeter as well.

2 A greeting is usually accompanied by a handshake whereby the right hand or both hands are used, and the right palm then touches one’s heart as an expression of sincerity. Usually, Muslims only shake hands with members of the opposite sex if they are related to them.

3 Many things start from the right – the right foot steps into a doorway, the right hand is used when eating, and getting dressed starts with the right sleeve and right trouser leg.

4 When sitting on the floor, men should sit cross-legged and not stretch out their legs. Women should sit with their legs bent towards the right and hidden under their dress or skirt. The soles of one’s feet cannot be exposed to others.

5Don’t wear shoes into a Malay household, as Muslims pray in their homes every day and must maintain its cleanliness. Many Malay families also like to use carpets in their homes.

6 It is considered rude to point with one’s forefinger. Instead, the fingers are curled in towards the palm, and the thumb is used to point.

7 Muslims only eat food that is halal, which refers to the set of standards that determine whether or not a product meets Islamic dietary restrictions. That means more than not serving pork and lard. Chickens, lambs and cows must be butchered in a way that follows halal standards. Muslims also cannot consume alcohol, and will usually avoid sitting with those who are drinking alcohol.